Im not sure why the counselor suggested that, but your ex needs to focus on improving his mental health now. Neurotransmitters like dopamine, GABA and Cytokine are considered responsible for anhedonia. Im at a loss. My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me: Now What? | BetterHelp He also said that the breakup was something he had not thought about earlier, but since a few days only. I would come to the USA, she would come to France, and vice versa. Her life was stressful everyday since then. During our time together he wasn't really on medication, only when necessary. I was going to move there definitely with her, after we both finish our studies. This will let you know how aware they are of their condition, and how committed they are to getting better. He does this because people close to him have a lot of expectations, requests, and sometimes even demands. You need to heal before you consider being in a romantic relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Even if i was still there as usual everyday for her while being separated by distance, her mental health slowly got worse. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me | Depression | Forums | Patient I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. I obviously hope that we get back together after what she said, and looking back to what we had these past 3.5 years, she is truly a great person, we brought so much happinness to each other and loved each other from the bottom of our heart, we both really were looking forward to a future together. Thank you for sharing. She would be stuck in her bed sleeping all day long, waking up to study, work, eat, then sleep. No matter what he does, he cant be of much help. You didnt agree to this. Hi there. There's a book about male depression that's quite good - "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terence Real. My heart aches so deeply and I want him back, but I really dont know if thats a possibility. Because of the pain thats been hurting you for weeks, youre starting to project your unhappiness onto your boyfriend. But he almost doesnt realize it. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. Depression is exactly what I suspect my husband has. During this time we barely fought and were super compatible--we were always joking around and having fun. Making someone happy is a difficult skill 3 More answers below Anonymous 7 y Its not your fault I promise its me. Ok, first and foremost, I'm very happy that in a relationship as hard as this one, you found the resilience to fight for it. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. Lack of energy and anhedonia is another critical symptom that cannot be overlooked. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. Its really sad and i was heartbroken that she decided that, but on the other hand i know it is for the best, i only hope she feels better and manage to heal, and be happy. Tell them how you feel, but what is causing you to think that breaking up is the way to go. It can also make them feel like they have no energy, as well as being isolated. They may be depressed, but if their exes hadnt made them feel unwanted emotions, they wouldnt have pushed them away. In these situations, a talk therapist can be great. This will make you feel connected and loved, as it will also give you a space to talk about your feelings and be supported. Im thankful for your time. boyfriend broke up with me because he's depressed I sent it before I read this article anyways. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. My question to you dearest zan is, He broke up with me yesterday but wants to stay friends I saw him on Thursday and although he was already down, it went well. Weve been dating for 2 years and a few days ago he broke it off saying he needs to get mentally right and cant sustain a relationship. As a result I continued to stay isolated from most people and could be a weight on his shoulder. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. No arguments. It can come from little white lies to more serious matters. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. Also, were 24 so were at that weird age where we are trying to figure out jobs and money and trying to move into apartments with our friends. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. Talk to him about what are the changes he is facing(physical and mental).ask him questions like, are you feeling low about something?, have your motivation to work gone?. They have a lack of motivation, satisfaction and interest in anything. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. Thats because theyve committed to each other and know that life isnt always a cakewalk. This protective effect disappeared if an adoptive parent had major depression or if the adoptive home experienced parental death or divorce during childhood/adolescence. I wish I can give you a hug because we all need it. You can't wait around forever, but what you can do is try to live your life well and if things turn around, great - if not, you've still got your life. . Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. Studies suggest that people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. Understand how each of you is responsible for caring for others, but at the same time, the other person is not responsible for fulfilling your every need.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If, at any time, you see it is needed, find couples counseling, this will help you both deal with the challenges that may come. Work on losing hope and let him message you if he wants to. We had a great relationship so I thought. I desperately wish he had gotten help or spoken to me before he decided our relationship was too much work but I also am so angry because it feels like he didnt fight for us in any kind of way. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. During extensive heated anger prone interactions, try to keep your cool. This is hard to hear, but you need to be aware of that possibility, Amy. But some factors may make it easier for a person to feel depressed. The first thing to do is to remember that not all relationships are perfect. For the past 7 years, I have had the smallest flickering of emotions, what I feel on a daily basis is practically nil. With them, you will build a great space of trust and support. Fight the illness together. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . Try to accept that he left because he neglected himself and then also you and the relationship. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. Another aspect is concerning how the relationship was. And that it was never my fault at all or anything Im doing. Hes just enjoying the space the breakup provided and is going to keep doing that until he stops feeling empowered by the breakup. She doesnt know why she is feeling this way, she is upset because she wish she could give me a reason, she feels guilty that she is wasting my time. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. Youd think that a depressed person wants help, but thats usually not the case. This article is very helpful. Everything seemed perfect, we had a beautiful, mature relationship for 2 years. And he said "yes..i know it's confusing". In my case my ex associated me with negative memories relating to issues with his son. First thing that came on his mind is his relationship. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. Does he miss me? Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Many people are familiar with the five stages of griefdenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Be respectful, genuine, and careful. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. Ever since I found out about this, Ive been more understanding of his issues & whenever I ask how hes doing, he doesnt like sharing his thoughts or concerns regarding his depression with anyone (not even family). He was so sweet and loving. You shouldnt feel too bad and think that hes secretly looking for you to care about him and help him. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. Because they have problems, they often look for negatives in others and by doing so, ruin their own relationships. He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the . He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. If I may ask, how is everything going with you and your girlfriend now? You have no idea when (if ever) the pain will stop. Did your boyfriend break up with you because of depression and youre wondering why he did that? Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. I suggest that you talk to him only when its about the kids or something important. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. Have cried for 12 hours - Reddit He could be so selfish and inconsiderate to the point that he did hurt me with his actions, but I always put it down to his own trauma. It makes you feel powerless with nothing helpful to say and do. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. Sometimes dumpers desperately seek help and other times they do exactly the opposite. I am in no contact, its been 2 weeks. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. Manage Settings My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not happy with himself and that he feels like he's changed. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. He also had mentioned his friends not to tell me or his family about this suicidal attempt. We're both 17. So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions. I know he really cares about me. How are you feeling? 2) Is there any chance hell be back? My (ex)boyfriend has told me he was depressed before we met and he has had dark thoughts ever since he was about 10 years old. If you are on the verge of breaking up or getting a divorce with your partner, the first thing you need to do is to understand the critical consequences of depression not only on the relationship but also on both of your mental health. They dont like talking about them because thats how theyve developed themselves. Tharu. There can be many reasons why a person with depression might wish to end their relationship. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. She was alone in a city, with no family, no friends, no roomates, with no boyfriend close to her due to covid. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. My boyfriend is depressed and yesterday he broke up with me, he told me that he wasn't happy and he didn't have the time to give me the attention that I deserve. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. 1 Feb 20, 2017 #1 My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. One might experience stressors in their lives in the form of mishaps,tragedies and accidents such as death of a close one, experience of a natural disaster,divorce,abuse or social isolation etc.People who suffer from chronic diseases like cancer,neurodegenerative disorders may also show symptoms of depression.According to DSM-5 environmental pollutants could be a possible cause too. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. Just good times when we were physically together. But after he went to the hospital that day, he stopped telling me loved me, stopped being affectionate and loving all together. He lost his mum, dad, and 2 best friends all in the space of 2 years. So if youre wondering why your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, heres the answer youre looking for. Depression works the same way. He said he wants to focus on himself and getting back on track. I did drop a letter off at his home when wasnt there. We've been broken up for just about a month and not a day goes by where he isn't on my mind. Let me know if you want to connect and talk. Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? He is going to therapy. Insight desperately needed. As the title suggests, my (ex) boyfriend who struggles with depression broke up with me. 4) How do I move on from a relationship that was truly amazing & just broke off due to circumstances? I have been in no contact since 2 weeks now. Theyre forgetting to mention why they fell out of love and what kind of behavior or attitude made it hard for them to redevelop their romantic feelings. Im scared he will move on from me during no contact & thatll be the end of our story for good. Feelings of self-doubt and depression go hand in hand. I wanna stay friends but I love him so much Would that be healthy? You'll get health news, advice, and inspiration delivered right to your inbox. I have been writing a journal on everything that happened from the day, how I felt and what my thoughts were in details. His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. The patient is trapped in a cycle of excessive worry about the past, present and future. Is It OK to Break Up With Someone Struggling With Mental Health? You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-medrectangle-4-0'); In case you are new to all this, lets understand a little about what depression is. If you try to show him you care about him, hell feel disrespected like any other dumper and want even more space and distance. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. We almost broke up in July but decided to try to work on things. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. You just accepted the end of the romantic relationship and stopped treating him as the most important person. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. We really loved each other from the bottom of our heart, and it would only become and grow more and more as days passed. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. Have cried for 12 hours straight. My Depressed Boyfriend, Partner is Pushing Me Away: Try This Exes who become depressed after the breakup tend to crave a relationship with the dumpee whereas those who leave because of depression want a lot of alone time. I know that depressed people tend to push others away but I feel awful for leaving him in such a state. And I also deal with depression but have been getting help and I know how he feels in a way, but I know how to talk about feelings and when things bother me, he doesnt. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. It was like he was pulling away from me. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. He kept disappointing me by canceling plans last minute and when I finally communicated my disappointment, which we agreed to do, he said I triggered him and caused his anxiety to raise everytime I messaged him. So Im trying to focus on myself and it actually does motivate me to get myself stable again because if we do end up together again I want to make sure Im ready and confident and have my life together. He could just be dealing with stress and doesnt know how to handle his stress. Although it wont help you get him back, it will give you some clarity and perhaps even closure. He should understand that you werent the main cause of his issues and that hes ready to receive and give love. 5 months into the relationship, his father passed away and he became depressed and he broke up with me. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. This is pretty typical behavior for depressed men who aren't getting adequately treated and by that I mean, aren't in therapy as well as taking medication. To me, it feels like everything accelerated so fast and I dont understand where his feelings went. He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" With that in mind, it is safe to say that depression can have an impact on the relationship. While hes doing that, its best that you stay away from him and give him the space he needs. I feel heartbroken despite understanding why he is pulling away. Step 1: Find the real reason for the breakup Think long and hard about what really went wrong in the relationship. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Thank you for sharing your story. Its unlikely that hell come back just because hell deal with depression. I can be free and spend more time on things that make me feel good.. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the. After the breakup he still asked if I was ok and I started opening up on my issues and told him I was also guilty of bottling up issues, was not in the right space to handle his sons situation better and isolated myself and slowly becoming a weight on him. Its really hard to break up in our situation, so far away from each other. As a matter of fact, its only gotten worse because now youre getting frustrated as well. I think it might give you some good insight into what's going on with your boyfriend. Always remember that people who care about you will stay in your life and come to your aid. Notice self-criticism.Learn how to self soothe. Moreover, the content may be subjective, and not necessarily backed by research.Whilst, these personality articles have been written by subject expert psychologists the sole purpose of the article is to inform, educate and entertain, and cannot be substituted for professional opinion or advice. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. In theory, once your ex feels better, he should once turn into his normal self. And guilt wont help him feel closer to you. He may not necessarily come back to you for love because he might not let go of old perceptions of you. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup. Evidence says depression is not directly linked with breakup but certain ill behaviours and actions undertaken by the patient may lead to divorce or breakup between romantic partners. About a month into the breakup now, it was very confusing at first and it wasnt apparent what my boyfriend wanted. As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. Treat your partner with love, show him hope and remind yourself about his condition as an illness and that he does not have control over it. When you are breaking up with someone you are still in love with, it might be good, to be honest. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Depression sometimes puts additional weight on a relationship and makes the couple struggle to stay emotionally connected. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alone I miss him so much and I just wish I could talk to him and hug him it hurts so much. After I got these thoughts out of my chest I knew I had to move on.I know I am doing all the right thing now I have exercised regularly; I have decided to get out of my bubble to get a job again to be involved with people/society; I have decided to refresh my wardrobe and look to feel good again about myself. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. Thats why depressed dumpers dont go into detail too much. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. However, if your boyfriend broke up with you because hes been depressed and stressed only recently, then chances are he isnt really depressed. For that, the article explained what depression is, and in what ways depression impacts a persons romantic relationship. I want him back, but I also dont want to throw anymore good time after bad. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. The same is true for your ex. Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. (Ex) boyfriend broke up with me because he's depressed and feels he isn Thats because he may not let go of the negative thoughts and emotions he associated with you. We barely spoke during this month, and she told me she wanted to break up this Tuesday. Heartbroken: Boyfriend with Depression Broke up with Me