Stop asking me why Im single! Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? 1. No, waitIm actually plural. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 13. 1. You speak as if youre not single yourself! A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 8. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. I havent met the right one yet. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Are you Jamaican? So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Me being single is just a conspiracy! I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. 96. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. I really thought you already knew. Oh, well 8. 22. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 11. Thats because Im still waiting for you. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. This is a good response to throw out there. Dont wake me up yet. Youre free to go. Are you going to marry me? If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? still alive 810 GIFs. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? via: Pexels / George Pak. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Now you can be! Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. 20. Youll go far someday. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Some people spend all their time on their phone. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Take Your Time. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are So much better than most people. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. 27. Socioeconomically? Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. Learn more about us here. You just live. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 1. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Yup, I dont share it. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Just look what happened there! I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Don Draper? If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Alive Jokes. How do you think that I am doing? You were a young man when you last spoke. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . I'm loved! Its too small to be out there all alone. I suggest you do a little soul searching. For more information, please see our is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Then you die. 14. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Was that comment meant to offend me? I like being single. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. I agree, thanks for sharing. Is your family tree a cactus? I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Feel my shirt. That's impossible. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Have you met food? Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. 15. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". 58. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 1. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 1. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. 4. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. 2. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". How do you want me to be? I just woke up like that one day. Oh, stop it, will you? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. . Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. My guardian angel be like 2. Could be better, though. You want to make them laugh, not yell. Financially? Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). 65. 99. 14. *wink*. Is that a scar on your face? 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. The music billboard charts got it wrong! If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 41. Scroll down! It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Thank you Fred. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. This does not seem right. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Chuck Bass? It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Still, the ghosters ghost on. 5. Going strong. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. So, you changed your mind? " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. What a miracle. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Im not single. Click here for additional information. Sounds like effort to me. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Its going great, really! I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Ive had worse. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. 76. 12. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. 67. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". You just have bad luck at thinking. 6. There is plenty of room. Are you going to help me have a good day? If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. - Anonymous. My only talent is not being in a relationship. 18. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! What should I doI like you too much. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. 55. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. 48. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party.